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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27667439">Conspicuity</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTimelessChild0/pseuds/TheTimelessChild0'>TheTimelessChild0</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Omovember 2020 [22]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Downton Abbey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Indignant Robert Crawley, Medical omo, Omovember 2020, Omovember 22, stubborn robert crawley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 23:01:58</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>960</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27667439</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheTimelessChild0/pseuds/TheTimelessChild0</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Robert embarrasses himself to avoid embarrassing himself.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Cora Crawley/Robert Crawley</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Omovember 2020 [22]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1987816</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Conspicuity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Robert woke up, groaning. Every joint ached; even ones he didn’t know he </span>
  <em>
    <span>had</span>
  </em>
  <span>. And worst of all, his bladder beckoned him towards the bathroom. The very same room Dr Clarkson had left strict instruction that he not try to use. Instead, tucked underneath his duvet was a thing. A thing in which you pee. Or...well, you were </span>
  <em>
    <span>supposed to pee</span>
  </em>
  <span>. He’d shrugged it off and kicked it near his feet before he slept; thinking that it was a problem for another day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was another. It was a </span>
  <em>
    <span>problem</span>
  </em>
  <span>. If he had to be wheeled to the loo, so be it.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Yeah, easier said than done. Immediately following that thought was one convincing him to hold on. Once someone came to check on him they would undoubtedly notice and the embarrassment would be their fault, not his. Somehow, that was better.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Unfortunately, the next person to come in, was Mrs Hughes. He sat up straight, crossing one foot cautiously over the other.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good afternoon, your lordship. You look redder in the cheeks,” she remarked, putting down the tea.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do I? Hope I’m not getting a cold on top of all of this,” he remarked.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh don’t go diagnosing </span>
  <em>
    <span>yourself</span>
  </em>
  <span>, leave that to the doctor,” Elsie implored him, fluffing his pillows. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Robert grunted exhaustedly, at the sound of the tea being poured. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“M’lord, is your back getting </span>
  <em>
    <span>worse</span>
  </em>
  <span>?” she fretted.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Not by a long shot. But it won’t kill me to take another one, eh?” he nudged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nice try, Robert. Dr Clarkson knows what he’s doing. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Suck it up</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Mrs Hughes motivated him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>While she shook his arm playfully, the Earl wiggled.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She pretended not to notice, until reaching the door to leave.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you need anything </span>
  <em>
    <span>else</span>
  </em>
  <span>, my lordship?” she hinted towards his urinal.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Robert gulped, wondering what she was getting at. He had still been averting his eyes from the part of the bed where the device lay.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I think I’ll manage, Mrs Hughes,” he dismissed her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Very well,”</span>
</p><p> </p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Outside the room, Elsie pondered the exchange. She wasn’t blind, nor born yesterday. It was painfully obvious that her master needed relief. Now, why he wasn’t accepting it, was anyone’s guess. She decided to turn to the main servant of the lord, Carson.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Afternoon, Mrs Hughes. Does his lordship require a male hand for something?” the butler suggested either bodily function.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Perhaps, or perhaps not. He was just </span>
  <em>
    <span>lying</span>
  </em>
  <span> there, Charles! I have no doubt he is aware of what he should do and how to do it. He’s...</span>
  <em>
    <span>resisting</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” she worried.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Let’s not complicate things that are simple, ma’am. Let me consult with the rest of the staff,” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They all confirmed that his Lordship had not used the device since Cora had demonstrated, and demanded that he replicate the result. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Carson sighed. “Well, he brought this on himself. Time to consult with her Ladyship,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“7th </span>
  <em>
    <span>Earl of Grantham</span>
  </em>
  <span>, what the hell do you think you’re up to?!” his wife barked at him, abruptly entering their shared bedroom.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Trying to have a kip..do you mind?” he claimed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Don’t run me around the mulberry bush, Robert. The staff informed me of the fact that you haven’t been going to the bathroom all day,” Cora shot him down with concern.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Because Dr Clarkson explicitly disallowed me from it,” Crawley reminded her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She rolled her eyes. “Yes, </span>
  <em>
    <span>in the bathroom</span>
  </em>
  <span>. You can go in that all you like,” she pointed out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No chance,” he huffed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Robert, please. You want a kidney stone on top of all of this?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, but I’d like to scrabble some dignity after this is over,” the Earl explained.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It’s a medical </span>
  <em>
    <span>toilet</span>
  </em>
  <span>, lots of people use it when they’re ill,” she reassured.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“Yes, people who don’t mind doing their </span>
  <em>
    <span>business </span>
  </em>
  <span>in plain view,” he blushed, indignant.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re not moving an inch from this furniture, Mr Fickle,” Cora warned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“No, I know that, darling...couldn’t you just move my chamber pot closer? I could go over the edge,” Robert begged.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sighed, moving the footstool and pulling out the ceramic bowl from under the bed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She adjusted the pillows, and helped him to an upright position. With the far more acceptable receptacle underneath him, and one foot on the stool, his lordship relieved himself, closing one eye to distract himself from his wife watching, knowing </span>
  <em>
    <span>she</span>
  </em>
  <span> didn’t mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You know, you’re making a lot more fuss about all this than absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>necessary</span>
  </em>
  <span>,” Cora commented, lifting her husband’s leg.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t recall judging you for putting on the tap,” he rebutted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>“What’s the big deal, anyway? Everyone pees, and this was still in plain view,” she wondered.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Next time I do this, I can tell the servants to wait outside. Can’t do that under a blanket,” Robert reasoned.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course you can. You’re the boss regarding the definition of privacy. Would that make it easier? I’ll post a notice on the bulletin board right now,” Mrs Crawley offered with resolve.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“There’s no </span>
  <em>
    <span>hurry</span>
  </em>
  <span>, hon. That would wipe out the difference entirely. Peeing lying down- Well, that’s a holiday after my tastes,” he laughed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That settles it then. I’ll take this away then,” she moved to pick it up again. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The occupant of the bed breathed through his nose uncertainly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Will I get it back at night?” the Earl negotiated.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Alright, relationships are about compromise,” Cora relented. “In the meantime, you’re using that ‘monstrosity’. Get plenty of rest and lots of fluids. You can deal with that can’t you?” she asked fondly, kissing his forehead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Provided it will fit,” he murmured, putting the device under her pillow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh, it will. I know your size,” her ladyship patted the bed. They shared a small laugh.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>His body shared much urine with the toilet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The End.</span>
</p>
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